Friday, March 7, 2008
Frequently Asked Questions About Austin
What’s that building? Contrary to speculation, it is neither Superman’s Fortress of SXSW Solitude nor a kinky marital aid for a mythical race of Texas giants. It is the tallest building in Austin, and is officially known as the Frost Bank Tower. The story is that it was built by or at the direction of the Bohemian Club but, for most SXSW attendees, its perhaps cultish ties don’t diminish its utility as a 33-story landmark at Fourth and Brazos, signaling that the Convention Center is near. (Photo by Scott Beale / Laughing Squid)
Why on Earth would I want a Shiner? Ah, you misunderstand us. Folks offering you a Shiner aren’t promising a black eye but a bottle or draft glass of Shiner Bock. Brewed since 1909 by Spoetzl Brewery in the eponymous Shiner, Texas (a couple hours southeast of Austin, as the crow flies), Shiner Bock is the unofficial official beverage of many SXSW devotees. Try one. It’s tasty!
What the hell is up with all the birds? If you’re at all prone to Tippi Hedren-like hysterics, you’ve probably been a bit jumpy since arriving in Austin. That cackling you hear in the trees and that poop you see all over the walk come from the common grackle, of which the city has a ton in residence. Often mistaken for crows, the winged beasties are annoying to be sure and at various times Austin, like many other cities, has undertaken methods both routine and unorthodox to drive them from the streets. Some suspect a grackle mass-death in 2007 was the result of one such campaign, although it was more likely natural causes. Watch where you step and consider wearing a hat whilst roaming downtown.
What’s the deal with the bats? They get a bad rap, but Austin’s bat population isn’t the vampiric, blood-sucking variety. Those are the record producers. (Ba-dum-bump!) No, the cute little flying rats that form the world’s largest urban bat colony make their home under the Congress Avenue Bridge and, on summer and some late spring nights, emerge almost 1.5 million strong to feast on insects and crop pests. It can be quite a sight if you’re lucky enough to catch the furballs in flight but it can also scare the willies out of you if it happens while you’re stumbling along South Congress unawares and/or intoxicated. Please call the Bat Hot Line, 512-416-5700, Category 3636 (courtesy of the Austin American-Statesman), for the latest flight times.
Whoa! Who’s she? You probably just passed Sixth Street fixture Leslie Cochran, arguably Austin’s most prominent homeless transvestite former mayoral candidate (not that it’s a particularly wide field).
Turn right on Man-shack? Left on Guadaloop? Where’s The Drag? Huh? Guadalupe Street is pronounced “gawd-ah-loop.” It is a street running north-south in Austin, and runs through the UT campus area. The part of Guadalupe that runs through UT is commonly referred to as “The Drag.” Manchaca Road is pronounced as “man-shack.” Don’t ask us why. It’s just the Austin way. Other hints to talk like a local: San Jacinto is “San Jah-sin-toe”, San Marcos is San Mar-kiss and Nueces is New-ay-sez. Practice these and make us proud.
